I recently came across an article suggesting that, relative to previous generations, Americans are paying more money and spending more time on youth sports. This is probably not a surprise to you—if you have driven to practices across town, given up weekends for games, brought snacks to tournaments, or organized the end-of-season gift for the coaches. But the cost of sports is much more than this.
Loss of Family Time
One of my closest friends is a President at a Fortune 500 company. She’s the real deal and her kids are amazing athletes. She was lamenting to me about how much sports are cutting into her family’s life. Already incredibly busy with her demanding work and travel schedule, she has to navigate the athletic schedule (of elementary and middle schoolers, mind you—not even in the big leagues yet!) of her swimmer and volleyball player.
Her wish is that athletic teams consider family constraints when creating schedules. She wants her kids to spend Mother’s Day with Grandma (and her!). Instead, she is driving to tournaments and watching two, three, sometimes four matches. It is accepted practice for families to plan their vacations around their children’s sporting events. I find this troubling. As outlined in Never Enough, affluent families around the United States are overscheduled, and, similar to author Jennifer B. Wallace, I would like to question that: How do you want to raise your family? Maybe the answer is “sitting on the sidelines of the tournament.” And if that is the case, stick with it. I just know there are many families who fall into the routine of sports (and other activities) without stopping to re-evaluate.
I recommend revisiting the family schedule quarterly and making sure there is time for spontaneity, family time, down time and play time. And next time there is a game or tournament during Thanksgiving or Father’s Day, choose to skip the game, or ask the parents and coaches to collectively cancel or re-schedule.
Loss of Sleep
Waking up two to three hours before school to get to practice is wild to me. Of course, kids rising early or getting to bed late are less able to regulate their emotions and more often feel tired, overwhelmed, inattentive, or scattered. Parents often come to me concerned about their child’s mental health or possible ADHD symptoms, but when I push them on improving sleep, there are always excuses: “My child loves soccer or swim or dance or lacrosse or volleyball. They could never give that up.”
Choosing to prioritize sports over sleep is a setup for trouble. This extra stress on the body leads to more illnesses and physical injuries because the body cannot recover. On top of that, kids who don’t get enough rest and recovery are more prone to burnout, resulting in leaving the sport altogether.
Overuse Injuries and Overtraining Syndrome
A clinical report by the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting training to only five to six days a week, participating on only one team at a time (meaning don’t do club tennis and play for the school team), and taking two to three months off a sport per year to reduce injuries and burnout from overtraining. Most of the middle and high school athletes I know are breaking these rules, but I am not sure they are even aware of them. It is hard to coach kids away from sports, especially if the family values athleticism.
Some sports, like Little League, have incorporated rules to limit some overuse injuries. But most student athletes are left relying on their coaches and, in some cases, a trainer at the high school level.
Pressure
Kids and parents think that playing sports will get them into college or make them appear more well-rounded. This may be the ticket to college for some kids—and I am not trying to argue against that in specific, highly skilled situations—but for most overscheduled, affluent kids, I would argue that sports should only be played for the love of the game. What happened to playing for fun? As a society, we place value on sports achievement and, sadly, even “low-stakes” teams leave kids crying and parents red-faced and yelling in the stands.
While I was unable to find any peer-reviewed studies on high school sports and college admissions, I did speak to Neha Gupta, founder of College Shortcuts, who commented, “Parents often assume sports will give their child an admissions edge, but unless your student is being actively recruited by a college coach, one of the best players at their high school, and passes the academic threshold for that school, it rarely moves the needle. Based on the data we have seen helping students in the college admissions space for the last 18 years, recruited athletes make up as much as 30% of incoming classes at some elite schools—but that advantage only applies to a very small, coach-selected group. Simply playing a sport, even at a high level, isn’t a golden ticket. We have seen that sports have taken up a lot of time for many students, and it can be detrimental to the family dynamic, sleep, and stress level of students. Finding activities that are meaningful, purpose-driven, and don’t take over the family is important when it comes to investing time, money, and energy into extracurriculars.”
Takeaways
- You do not have to show up to every tournament, match, or game. Work with your league and other involved families to set boundaries.
- The amount of time your family and your child/teen spend on a sport or activity should be a thoughtful decision, worthy of reevaluation on a quarterly basis.
- Save space for family time, downtime, and playtime. You can still play sports for exercise and even for fun!
- Get enough sleep. That is about 10 hours for elementary and middle schoolers and 8-10 for high schoolers.
- Prevent overuse injuries by taking one-month breaks two to three times a year and avoiding daily training.
- Once in middle school and high school, kids should not play sports to pad their résumés. This does not work and takes away from family experiences, social growth, and exploring other activities.
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References:
Knoester, C., & Bjork, C. (2024). U.S. youth sports participation: analyzing the implications of generation, gender, race/ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and family and community sport cultures. Leisure/Loisir, 1–47. https://doi.org/10.1080/14927713.2024.2366177
Wallace, J. B. (2023). Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It. (Referenced for context, not a peer-reviewed study.)
Brenner, J. S., et al. “Overuse Injuries, Overtraining, and Burnout in Young Athletes.” Pediatrics, vol. 153, no. 2, 2024, e2023065129. doi:10.1542/peds.2023-065129
