A friend recently said I didn’t need to go to Hawaii to see a volcano erupt. I could just come to her home every morning at 7:15 a.m. when all sorts of eruptions are occurring.
Getting out of the house in the morning is a stressful time for most households. Naturally, with time pressure coming from all directions, both children and parents tend to lose it.
I offer some strategies to make mornings more manageable. If you have tried some of these in the past, perhaps it is time to give it another shot with the buy-in of the entire family. Mornings are a team sport. Everyone has to pull their weight to go from whining to winning.
Checklists
Checklists are a proven way to avoid mistakes. Save brain space for higher-level thinking and problem-solving. Adolescents, in particular, should be in the habit of utilizing checklists for school and home. These checklists are for your children, but I highly recommend parents share their own checklists with their kids.
I recommend an evening checklist for each child or teen. For example, before heading to bed:
- Backpack packed
- Computer on charger
- Homework in backpack
A morning checklist may be what you don’t want to forget on your way out the door:
- Backpack
- Lunch
- Snack
- Water bottle
- Soccer cleats (or clarinet, or posterboard)
Checklists should be placed in visible, logical locations where you and your child or teen will see them. Extra slots on checklists will allow for temporary modifications. And these checklists do not need to be fancy. Kids may enjoy laminating them or using a white board, but mine are often on post-its.
Prepare the Night Before
Oh, how everything would be easier if everyone, including me, prepared ahead of time. If you can teach your kid to pull out tomorrow’s clothes tonight and pack up a book bag before bed, mornings will be so much smoother. Anything that can be done the night before should be done the night before. If the computer is already charged, put it in the book bag before bed. If lunch or snack can be packed the night before, do it! Similarly, if breakfast can be chosen or prepared (overnight oats, boiled eggs) it is one less thing to worry about in the morning.
Incentivize The Thing Your Kid Does Not Want To Do
Inevitably, there is something unique to your kid that slows down the morning and results in madness. It could be forgetting to brush teeth or eating breakfast too slowly or not combing hair or getting lost in social media. Try a star chart (call it whatever works for your kid). If your child can score a star five days in a row, maybe a boba with friends, some video game time, or money is earned. Alternatively, if the goals are not met, that results in less boba, less video gaming, and less money. This requires a written and agreed upon system.
Wake Up 5 minutes Earlier
Five more minutes can be a game changer. It will give you a few more minutes to be ready, centered, and prepared. Maybe it means you have your coffee so you can both literally and metaphorically fill your cup before taking on the ever present challenge of getting kids out the door.
Despite Everything, Sometimes Our Volcanoes Erupt
I’ve been there, too. Morning, afternoon, or evening, eruptions happen. If your kid is the one who is overwhelmed and erupting, ask what you can do to help. If it is your own stress that led to the eruption, take a few breaths, remind yourself you are a good parent, you are erupting less than you used to, and you will erupt less in the days to come. Most importantly, say sorry and give your child a hug. Just like that, the heat of the eruption will dissipate.
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For coaching or consultations, please contact me at www.DrAngel.com.
