Multiple times a day I hear stories of picky eaters, battles over food, and the resultant parental stress. There are books and articles galore on the subject, but for those of you who just want a quick read, here are some thoughts and strategies. If any of you have ideas to add, please feel free to email me at angel@drangel.com.
Have kids help you in the kitchen. Kids can do many things with you in the kitchen: pull leaves off green stems, break apart broccoli florets, pour spices, grind spices or nuts using a mortar and pestle, transfer chopped veggies into a (not hot) pot, and cut. For smaller kids, you can use cookie cutters or purchase kiddie choppers that are smaller variants of cookie cutters. Let them taste the foods—even the spices. Or better yet, watch them slyly as they sample the food they are responsible for preparing.
Show them where food comes from. Maybe a little garden? Data (mostly from school and community-based nutrition programs) suggests that kids may try more new foods if they grow them. This is also a fun project for a parent and child to work on together. It does not have to be extensive—simple herbs in jars or a small garden patch: some basil, mint, garlic chives, or oregano. They are full of delicious phytonutrients, grow fairly easily and kids will learn about food growth. They may even pick some while playing in the yard and chew on it. Yay!
Picking and eating your fruits or veggies (which includes herbs!) when they are ripe adds nutritional value as well. Store bought goods are often plucked prior to ripening for heartiness during transport.
I must give my kids, especially my son, full credit for creating and running with our garden projects over the last few years. This year, we enjoyed chard enchiladas, chard lasagne, sauteed chard, chard salad, and chard paneer (instead of saag paneer) in addition to tomatoes and a variety of herbs.
If your space is limited or you are looking for an “urban garden,” for any other reason, they are awesome, albeit expensive.
Have one meal for everyone. I mean, for the most part. Kids should not be served mac and cheese or hot dogs or even “healthy” chicken nuggets while parents are eating salmon and broccoli. One, this is way too much work for the person creating the meals at home, and two, this teaches kids that their food is somehow different from that stuff that grown-ups eat. The whole point is to eat real food. Obviously, this is easier if you start during infancy, but even if you don’t, you just have to go through a painful cleansing of the pantry/freezer and then stick with it. Once you make the decision, you hold a family meeting, list the things that will not be replenished once they run out, and tell the kids to prepare themselves. It may be a few weeks of annoyed looks and angry demands, but eventually your child will learn that you mean business. You are the boss of your child, as it turns out.
For babies, give them real food real early. That is, transition between 6 and 9 months to table foods. By 9 months, your kids should be eating a non-choking hazard version of whatever you are eating (which is hopefully healthy. And if it is not, well, kids are the great motivator!). At this age, kids are curious. Food is exciting. And if you capitalize on their curiosity, you may get a kid who enjoys spices (yes, spices are healthy: turmeric, black pepper, cilantro, parsley, thyme, oregano). If you are worried about salt, just under-salt the food a bit. I was happy to see a recent study that supported my recommendation of feeding your kid all sorts of foods (I mean, I say go for it. Indian food, Thai food, Ethiopian food… after all, that’s what kids in those countries are eating! And veggies with flavor taste so much better than steamed-pureed mush!).
Role Model. This is known. You can’t be eating chips and say no when your kid asks for some. Parents must avoid the junk and they must eat (and enjoy) the fruits and vegetables themselves, just like they have to wear helmets, seatbelts and all those other things that are good for prolonged health and life.
For toddlers, give them some independence. They may not want to be stuck in a highchair. You may have to negotiate a little. Let them eat at their little table. Put a blanket or towel underneath so you are less worried about the mess.
Please no TVs/iPads/screens as meal motivators. It is known in adults that watching TV while you eat really blunts the brain’s ability to recognize satiety. Hence the term couch potato. You just keep eating. Your brain does not register the smell, texture, or sound of what you are eating unless you are mindful of eating. We want kids to learn to listen to their hunger cues. Kids need to stop eating when they feel full and start eating when they are hungry. We do not want screens to serve as Pavlovian cues to eat or a distraction during which a caregiver shovels food into their mouths!
Options are ok, but they should be equally attractive/healthy options. For example, if tonight’s dinner is not suitable, how about last night’s? The major point here is that if kids know that their parents will make him a “kiddie” alternative, then they will more easily say no to a meal. However, if kiddie alternatives simply do not exist after aforementioned pantry/freezer cleanout, then food refusal will be less common. Or food refusal may be because the child is actually not hungry. This is fine, too, as long as everyone agrees that when the child becomes hungry, a real meal will be waiting—not a kiddie alternative.
Disclaimer: I like to include links to studies but there are so many studies on these topics that I could not settle on a limited few. I hope you don’t mind.
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